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My advice to y’all is, don’t lose me.” - Unknown

“It’s hard to find a friend who’s cute, loving, generous, caring, and smart. “Once you become fearless, life becomes limitless.”ħ5 funny quotes and sayings ⁠- short quotes that are funny words | funny thoughtful quotes, long funny quotes, top funny quotes Funny Best Friend Quotes “It’s better to look back on life and say: “I can’t believe I did that.” ThaThen look back and say: “I wish I did that.”Ħ8. “I shook my family tree and a bunch of nuts fell out!”Ħ7. “School is just an endless cycle of “I just need to make it through this week” every week”Ħ6. “I don’t like to brag but today I washed and dried a load of clothes on the same day without forgetting I had stuff in the washer… It’s like I’m some kind of domestic ninja…”Ħ5. Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge!!!”Ħ4. “Pin this potato in every board for no reason”Ħ3. “An apple a day will keep anyone away, if thrown hard enough”Ħ2. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.”Ħ1.

“The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”Ħ0. “That awkward moment when you take a shower in the middle of the day and you’re not sure if you should put on normal clothes or pyjamas.”ĥ9. Who the fuck runs 5 miles in 30 seconds?”ĥ8. “During sex you burn as many calories as running for 5 miles. “Some people are just like trees… They take forever to grow up!”ĥ7. “Real girls are never perfect and perfect girls are never real.”ĥ6. “My dream job would be the karma delivery service.”Ģ6. Perfect for sharing with your best friends and family. Our collection of short funny quotes which are short, straight to your head, and mind-blowing.Ģ5. Easy to read the list of the most hilarious phrases ever spoken. Join the fun with our Funny Quote of the Day on the web, Facebook, and blogs. Share the best funny quotes collection by famous authors and comedians. “If your significant other is mad at you put a cape on them and say ‘Now you’re super mad!’ if they laugh marry them.” “I wanted to go jogging but proverbs 28:1 says “The wicked run when no one is chasing them” so there’s that.”Ģ4. “My scars tell a story… They are reminders of when life tried to break me but failed.”Ģ3. “Camping: Where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person.”Ģ0.

“The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.””ġ9. “I have to keep reminding myself that I’m an adult and will be charged as one.”ġ8. My friend Hector just told me jokes and I laughed so hard I almost cheat my pants. I’m not going anywhere.įunny quotes of the day Herpes, we cut the burrito in half That way I could have my piece and she could have herpes. You can take your “I’m okay” hat off now. “Seek the counsel of him who makes you weep and not of him who makes you laugh.” looking for funny lines and jokes to share with your best friends and which ones to be good and laugh with without aggravating them to say like short funny quotes and humorous lines. You may discover fascinating inspirational words of encouragement to lift you. You can find laughter, pics of funny, humor, and wisdom in these. Repeat or copy these quotes out to your friends to make them laugh! Need a good laugh? Check out these 75 funny quotes and sayings about life to smile on your face. Our collection of witty funny pictures of funny sayings which are short words, easy to remember but still hilarious phrases.